DON'T CALL ME THAT!
by ShenlongXZ
Summary: Ling Xiaoyu has become fed up with everyone treating her like a kid, and so calls a meeting to straighten it out. Several *mild* character bashing. Read and Review!
1. In which Marduk proves his stupidness

This is my second Tekken fic. It has (deep breath) Jin, Miharu, Kazuya, Heihachi and Craig bashing (pants). Don't get me wrong, I like all of those characters (except Marduk) but it's just fun. Enjoy!

*

"Thank you all for coming…" began Ling Xiaoyu, addressing the assembled Tekken fighters.

"Hey, no problem kid," said Craig Marduk, resident jackass. Her eyes narrowed. In a deathly calm voice, she said:

"Don't call me kid."

Proving that he did, in fact, only have the one brain cell, Marduk replied, "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, KID?"

Panda threw Ling a glance, but she shook her head. She slowly walked up to the overgrown fighter, smiling sweetly, hands behind her back.

"Just this." There was a blur, then a cloud of dust started up. When it cleared, the huge man was sprawled on the ground, a look of immense pain on his unconscious face. The others winced and took a step backwards.

"AS I WAS SAYING, I've called you all here due to the way you all treat me. I am just as good a fighter as the rest of you and deserve to be treated as such."

Everyone turned to Miharu Hirano and Jin Kazama (her best friend and boyfriend) to straighten this out.

"Xiao, calm down."

"Yeah Ling Ling, no need to go hyper, otherwise Lei might have to bust a cap."

Her head seemed to swivel 180 degrees to turn to face them.

"So, trying to pacify me huh?! Think I'm over reacting, huh?! Trying to shut me up huh?! Well, you don't fool me!"

Their faces twisted into confused expressions. 

"Wha…?"

Her voice lowered again.

"Thought I wouldn't notice, huh? My best friend and my boyfriend?"

They were sweating now. "Xiao…"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she practically shrieked. "I saw you two sucking face the other day!" She then nodded to Panda. The bear stood up, walked over to the ex friends and, picking them up easily, threw them out of the window of the twenty story building. Ling walked over to the shattered remains.

"And Miharu, you're fired!"

All the rest but Kazuya sweat-dropped, who leant over to whisper in is father's ear.

"Did she just throw my son out the window? Jeez, what you think is wrong with that kid?" He never heard the answer. Upon seeing Xiaoyu's gaze, he decided it'd be a lot less painful if he just threw himself out of the window. Besides, he could fly…

Out of nowhere, Ling suddenly produced a riding crop. "From now on, you shall all refer to me as ma'am. Understand?"

There was a chorus of "yes" from all but one. "I shan't stand for this!" bellowed Heihachi. "I'm not afraid of you, kid. I have a bear bodyguard too! Kuma, go!"

Kuma started, but then glanced at Panda. The look on her face clearly stated: One more step and SOMEONE won't be getting any tonight. Kuma stopped, turned, then lifted up Heihachi.

The old man became the fifth person to go out of the window.

*
    
    Heh, gotta love that kid…

*Hears pistol being cocked*

Uh oh, gotta go!

*Runs away*

*Runs back*

R and R!

*Runs again*


	2. In which Bosconovitch gets put down

Back by popular demand…here's chapter two, also starring Yoshi and Kuni! Enjoy, R and R! May I remind you that this has no definite ship, so don't bite my head off. Final chapter will (probably) star Steve Fox, the "Queen of England" ;-).

Oh yeah, and I don't own Tekken, that privilege goes to Namco.

*

Ling swivelled around in her chair. _'This is the life!' _she thought to herself. _'No irritating friend trying to input her "helpful" ideas, no Heihachi trying to steal back the Mishima fortune and Zaibatsu company, and best of all, no stupid backstabbing, two-timing boyfriend…'_

The door opened and in came…

_'…Kazama Jin. Damn.'_

"Security…" she began, but he cut her off. 

"Xiao…I mean, Ling, could you just listen to what I have to say?"

Just then, the intercom crackled. "Red Alert! There was a black blur, we think it might have been the devil heading for your office!"

"Gee, thanks," she muttered under her breath. She turned to face Jin. "I'm sorry," she began, pretending to check her schedule, "you don't seem to have made an appointment. One can be obtained by talking to my receptionist.

He glanced at the door sheepishly. "You mean the guy that was sitting behind the desk?"

"Yes." Xiaoyu's voice was deathly calm.

"Erm…he's indisposed."

"Then you'll have to call back later. Goodbye."

"Ling, don't be like this…"

"I said goodbye."

Her eyes flashed red and she threw an unmistakable glance towards the window, which she had kept, broken, shattered glass still on the ground. Jin stalked away muttering to himself. _'I wonder if the Devil Gene is contagious?'_

When the lift opened, he saw Doctor Bosconovitch. 

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" asked the doctor.

"Go pull Yoshumitsu."

"I object! It is not my fault that every time I'm kidnapped, Yoshi, I mean, Yoshumitsu comes to my rescue."

"Whatever," smirked the Kazama, walking out.

Once he had left. Kunimitsu emerged from the shadows. 

"Now," she said impatiently, "my money?"

Bosconovitch fumbled with his wallet. "So the deal is you kidnap me and I pay you. Okay?"

The fox faced ninja nodded and took the cash, grinning behind it.

'I get paid plus I get the chance to get Yoshumitsu's sword! Excellent…' 

*

"Miss Xiaoyu, someone here to see you," said the receptionist.

"But I have no appointments today!"

"But it's on the computer."

Ling scrolled down the schedule list. The only name there, next to 1200 was…

"So, now will you listen to me?"

"Make it quick, Kazama." Out of his sight, she pressed a secret button that alerted Panda to the scene. _'Damn,' _she recalled. _'Panda's looking after Kuma-chan while her father guards Heihachi in the hospital ward_. _Suppose I'll have to listen…'_

She pretended to listen to Jin, rambling on about how it was a one off thing, it'd never happen again (this was obvious. Miharu would probably be in a wheel chair for quite a while) and so on_._ Before he could finish Fan Hwoarang walked in.

"Ready for the date?" he asked. "Oh, hey Kazama," he added as an afterthought.

The devil turned on him. 

"She mine."

Ling sat back and sighed while the two began to fight. After a while her receptionist walked in.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Please!"

She sprang up and walked out with him, leaving the boys to their own devices. As they fought, they slowly rolled towards the shards of the…

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Then a thud.

"Did you hear something?" asked the receptionist.

"Not a thing." _'I wonder if I should get the window fixed…'_

_*_

'Judging by his usual punctuality, he should be here right…' 

Yoshumitsu walked in. 

"Yoshi, you came to save me!"

He glared. "Can it, old man. Go fix your robots." He returned his gaze to Kunimitsu. "This is sad. Why the hell can't you make a sword yourself?"

"I like yours better."

"Do you *Kuni*?"

"Never call me that, *Yoshi*."

"I'm **so** sorry…*Ronin*."

"Why you…"

The two clashed, blades clanging. Bosconovitch sat in a heap, sobbing that he'd been rejected. The fight raged on around him.

*

Sorry, bit of an action ending there. Well, hope you liked it. As I said before, R & R!


End file.
